Sunday, May 03, 2009


Imagine you were walking peacefully down the street, when suddenly a man burst out of his house and ran up to the border of his property while waving a weapon and yelling nasty threats at you. What would you do?

After getting the hell out of there, you would likely call the police and have the man arrested for assault, or at least for disturbing the peace.

So why is it perfectly legal and OK when a dog behaves the same way towards you?

Recently I set out to try and do something about this situation. I purchased an ultrasound device that people cannot hear but which is supposedly unbearable to dogs. The idea is that whenever they bark at me I'll give them a quick dose of ultrasound and they'll quickly learn that it's in their interest to remain quiet. Results have been mixed. The first dog I tried it on, a large German shepherd, immediately froze and dropped to the floor as if electrocuted. Another couple incidents like that and I'm sure the neighbors would never hear it again. But today I tried the ultrasound on two small dogs and it barely made them flinch.

Therefore a different strategy is needed for next time. I now want to purchase some kind of tear gas which, while potentially causing problems at security checks, will be an effective dog deterrent whenever needed.

Go ahead and accuse me of cruelty to animals. But I like to think that not only dogs, but humans possess rights as well. And I intend to exercise mine.

P.S. I am not anti-dog. Some of my best friends are dogs. It is just the dogs that bark at me I don't like. Oh yeah, and the ones that use the sidewalk as their bathroom, but that is more a deficiency in the owner than in the animal.

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